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What should I ask at my child's IEP meeting?

Research on recorded IEP meetings found parents spoke during about 15 percent of intervals. Having your questions written down beforehand is the single most effective change you can make.

Updated 21 August 2026·General information, not legal advice

Most parents leave an IEP meeting with the same feeling: it went by quickly, everyone was pleasant, and the questions they meant to ask arrived on the drive home.

There is a measured reason for that. When researchers recorded IEP meetings and counted who was speaking, parents accounted for roughly 15 percent of intervals while school staff accounted for about half. The room is not hostile. It is simply full of people who do this every week, talking to one person who does it once a year.

A written list is the fix. Not a script, and not a confrontation — just the four or five things you do not want to leave without knowing.

Before the meeting

  • Ask for the draft in advance. Reading a proposed IEP for the first time in the meeting itself is the hardest possible way to review it. Many districts will send it a few days ahead if asked.
  • Ask who is attending. Knowing whether the district representative, the therapist, or the general education teacher will be there tells you which questions can actually be answered on the day.
  • Write down your own concerns first. Parent concerns belong in the document, and they are far easier to include if they arrive already written in your words.

If your meeting is tomorrow

Pick three questions, not fifteen.

A short list you actually ask beats a long one you never get to. If you only have one evening, take the goal you are most worried about, check what its wording contains, and build your three questions from what is missing.

Questions about where your child is now

The present levels section is the foundation of the whole document. Every goal should trace back to something written there.

Questions you could ask

  1. 01 “What data was used to write the present levels, and when was it collected?”
  2. 02 “Which part of the present levels does each goal come from?”
  3. 03 “What does my child do well that is reflected in this document?”

Questions about the goals

This is where most of the value is, and where the wording matters more than it appears. A goal without a baseline or a stated measurement method is difficult to track later — not because anyone intends that, but because there is no agreed way to tell whether it was met.

Questions you could ask

  1. 01 “What number are we starting from for this goal?”
  2. 02 “How will progress be measured, and how often will it be recorded?”
  3. 03 “What would tell us this goal has been met?”
  4. 04 “Is this target ambitious enough given where my child is now?”

You can check any goal's wording in about a minute with the free goal checker before you go.

Questions about changes

If this is not your child's first IEP, the most useful thing you can do is compare it to the last one. Service minutes move, accommodations quietly do not carry forward, and goals get rewritten to different targets. None of that is necessarily wrong — but all of it is worth a sentence of explanation.

Questions you could ask

  1. 01 “What has changed since last year's IEP, and why?”
  2. 02 “Have any accommodations been removed or not carried forward?”
  3. 03 “Have any service minutes changed, and what data supports the new amount?”
  4. 04 “Will I receive prior written notice for these decisions?”

Questions about what happens next

Questions you could ask

  1. 01 “How and when will I hear about progress between now and the next review?”
  2. 02 “Who do I contact if something in this plan is not happening day to day?”
  3. 03 “What happens if my child is not on pace at the next progress report?”
  4. 04 “Can I have a copy of everything discussed today, including the data?”

Two things that make the day easier

You do not have to sign at the table. Taking the document home to read is normal and reasonable. Ask what the timeline is for responding rather than deciding under time pressure.

You can ask someone to slow down. "Can you say that again in plain English?" is the single most useful sentence available to a parent in that room, and every good team welcomes it. If the acronyms are the problem, the jargon decoder covers the sixteen you are most likely to hear.

Common questions

What should I ask at my child's IEP meeting?
Ask about four things: the data behind the present levels, whether each goal has a baseline and a stated measurement method, why anything has changed since the last IEP, and what happens next if progress does not follow the plan. Write the questions down before you go — in recorded meetings, parents speak far less than school staff, and a written list is what closes that gap.
Can I record an IEP meeting?
It depends on your state and district. Some permit it, some require advance notice, and some have their own policy. Ask in writing before the meeting rather than at the table, and expect the district to record as well if you do. Taking notes, or bringing someone to take them for you, is always permitted.
Can I bring someone with me to an IEP meeting?
Yes. You may bring anyone with knowledge or special expertise about your child — a spouse, a friend, an advocate, or a professional who works with them. Telling the school in advance is a courtesy that keeps the meeting calm, and it is helpful to know beforehand who will be attending from the district.

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